Battle Scars

Have I told you about how big my baby is?

Quinn was born seventeen months ago (five weeks premature) weighing in at just under six pounds. Not bad for a preemie. Right? Today he weighs thirty pounds. Just to help paint the picture here, you should know that I'm five feet two inches tall and weigh about one hundred and ten pounds. The point being that I am heaving around a human who is almost a third of my size. I'm wrestling him into his high chair, his car seat, his clothing - to say nothing of his diapers. (Why do they fight this so?) It shouldn't come as a huge surprise that I have developed a few war injuries over the past year.  One in particular that I can't kick. I've got DeQuervain's Tendonitis in my hand. This condition is so common among women who have recently given birth that it is sometimes called "new mom's syndrome." (Vindicated! It's not just me.) It's basically an injury that comes from the repetitive act of picking up your baby. It's pretty painful but I've been able to manage it with injections of cortisone. Until now.

My feelings about all of this are two-fold.

First, I'm in awe. I can hardly believe that I fed this gigantic person from my breast and nurtured him out of the NICU and into a size 2T.

Second, I wish there had been more time to hold him. (Isn't that always the way with mothers? The bittersweet emotions about how fast it all goes...) I wore him on my body in one sling or another for around ten months but he just got too heavy. I bought hip carriers and mai-tais and tried every method known to woman, but our size differential was just too great and I gave up and put him in the stroller.

Every time I lift him now, it hurts, and that's not okay. I need to be able to hold my baby who still needs holding.

I've decided to have surgery. It's minor and the success rate is around 99%. So I should feel better. After two weeks in a cast and who knows how many more of physical therapy.

As for those slings and carriers — they're up for grabs. If you would like one, or know of an organization which distributes them, please leave me a comment.

Thanks for visiting.

Comments

[Sarah]

What a sweetie...your back must kill you though! I don't need a sling right now, but you're so generous for offering them up to your readers!

[Marie]

So sorry to hear of your pain and your dilemma. And so happy for you that you've loved and nourished your little one into such a strong and sturdy little person. A true testament to your nurturing. I'm wishing you well for the surgery and a speedy recovery with a future of many great bonding snuggling moments to come for you and your babe.

I'd love to hear more about the slings and carriers you're offering. My husband and I are in the process of adopting a newborn and plan on much babywearing.

[Alexis]

Ouch! Please let me know when you're having the surgery so I can bring you treats.

[Tara Thayer]

He is really, really cute, though, so it's all worth it,...right? And not only do we have those same blocks, but I've actually blogged about them! I bought them at a tag sale for $3, and then saw them at Stone Barns for $40. I felt like a champion.
Take care of yourself, Amy. I can understand how much it must hurt- both to pick up that big baby, and to not be able to. I do know of an Even Start program in Tarrytown that will take all sorts of donations of kids stuff, if you can't find something closer to home. Best wishes, Tara

[Cami]

I am so sorry to hear about your pain. I hope your surgery goes well and that you get back to the swing of things soon.

[jessica]

My goodness, Quinn is adorable! I hope your surgery goes well and you are back to knitting and picking up and all those other wonderful things. And yes, your knitting karma worked wonders!

[jacquie]

is this happening soon? i'm sending all kinds of good thoughts your way. hope all goes well.

[Christina]

Well, at least you have a healthy baby boy! Not bad for being premature. :) I have battle scars from giving birth...but mine has to do with not being able to laugh too hard... I'll leave it at that. I think Brice (7.5 months) is 18 lbs and getting very hard to tote around. I've quit using my baby wrap. Good luck!

[amylouwho]

He is a cute little (big) guy! I have an almost 1 year old who loves to be held - but he's over 20lbs and I can't do it with out help (from a carrier). I'd be interested in a hip carrier if you have one. Thanks for offering them up!
Hope the surgery goes off uneventfully!

[Sarah Jackson]

Oh honey! I know exactly what you mean. My little one (who is not so little anymore) is like a sack of flour - so heavy and hard to lift. She was out of any form of carrier by the time she was 6 months old (and 24 lbs). It's heartbreaking that I just can't carry her anymore.

Good luck with the surgury!

[Sarah Jackson]

um, surgery. duh.

[Andrea]

Wow Amy, he's big! Hope the surgery goes well. What a bummer! Take Alexis up on her offer for treats! :)

[Laura]

But he's such a cutie! Good luck with the surgery, I hope it all goes as planned!

(A side note - a coworker and I were discussing her baby today who weighs in at about 25 lbs. She's nine months old!)

[maya]

i'm glad you're going to take care of yourself. please keep us posted and let me know if i can do anything from all the way down here. :)

[Brynn]

Oohhhhh!!! What a big boy. those little roles are totally darling. we only WISh for them. Because of the way heart babies need to be held without tightness and also because there is usually so much gear. We found the slings ideal... If you would be willing to send them to me, I would give them out to momma's who can't afford one because of hospital bills or other circumstances... I could even help with shipping... Let me know!

[Shalet]

First off - feel better soon! And second - this is why women keep having babies -- they want someone to hold. Thank goodness my youngest, at five, still loves to snuggle!

[Paige]

He is just adorable! And that picture is just so sweet. I wish you all the best with your surgery - I'm sure it'll go well and you'll come out of it feeling so much better when it's over and you've recouped. My youngest is nearly four and lately she wants me to carry her everywhere, it seems...but I do it because she's probably my last baby and goodness knows it all goes by too quickly. Take care! I'll be thinking about you...

[caroline]

Poor you! I had that tendonitis in both wrists with my middle child, but I was lucky enough to get away with the injections and NOT to have surgery. Although, I must say, I'd rather give birth than have another one of those injection! OUCH!

And shall I tell you, being married to a physician, how much sympathy I got? HA!

But in the end, it's all worth it, right? Look at that gorgeous, healthy creature you have to show for it all!!!

[Meg Evans]

There's a name for it? I don't know why I'm so surprised! I remember those days of sore hands...they flew by so fast.

Good luck with the surgery!

[Kathleen]

Yikes! What was Jake like as a baby?
Tessa was always so skinny - she still is, and at almost four just tops 30 lbs. Calder is a whole different story: at almost one, he's 24 lbs! I was blaming blogging for my aching wrists, but I know Calder's responsible for my backaches.
Good luck with the surgery... when is it?

[Shell]

You kick ass and take names woman!! My son Nathan is a month older than Quinn, but came into the world at 9 lbs 10.6 oz and he just hit 30 pounds. Congratulations you breastfeeding rockstar!!

I am sorry about the pain and I hope the surgery is a wonderful success.

[elizabeth of course]

I have one of those giant boys, too! fifteen months and twenty nine pounds! How do they get so big!? I hope your procedure goes well. Perhaps a local shelter could make use of those slings?
Good luck!
ps - that shot of the tower of blocks is absolutely PRICELESS!!

[Amy @ parkcitygirl]

Such a sweet and healthy boy! I hope that all goes well - take good care of yourself. When is it?

[Caroline]

What a sweet (big) little guy! I hope your surgery is successful and that you'll feel better soon.

[Anne from News Moms Need]

Your son is precious! Best wishes for a rapid recovery. I'm 34 weeks pregnant and already have some tenderness in my wrists. I'll have to be careful when the baby arrives. Take care!